In the Rut
That's how i feel right now. I first heard that in 1997 from a pastor. Then, from people all over the places. But that is how i could describe myself right now. And it doesn't matter if people are in the same boat, because the fact remains that I am in this situation. Has life become too slow for me? Did I lose the excitement of life? Or is it merely a case of being distracted from the real purpose of my life?
I have always heard that the journey is as important as the destiny. We make our own destiny. We are the masters of our soul. Blah. Blah. Blah. These are all garbage to me. My will power is not as strong and resolute as it had been. I guess I am just tired. Or plain lazy. Or I could blame it on my hormonal imbalance, which I have the privilege of doing so considering my current state. I am trying to be objective and as detached as possible to analyze the situation so that the solution (or answer perhaps) may be unraveled. But everything leads me to my character flaws as the main source of my present condition. If only my physical strength could exceed its limitations, I would have been in a different, more joyful state. My spirit is very willing, but my body is weak. If only my mind could command things to do my very wishes, my life would have been more organized physically and emotionally. I just hope that I would survive this 'ordeal' with learned lessons to keep me in place forever.
I now dread the post-partum stage.
I have always heard that the journey is as important as the destiny. We make our own destiny. We are the masters of our soul. Blah. Blah. Blah. These are all garbage to me. My will power is not as strong and resolute as it had been. I guess I am just tired. Or plain lazy. Or I could blame it on my hormonal imbalance, which I have the privilege of doing so considering my current state. I am trying to be objective and as detached as possible to analyze the situation so that the solution (or answer perhaps) may be unraveled. But everything leads me to my character flaws as the main source of my present condition. If only my physical strength could exceed its limitations, I would have been in a different, more joyful state. My spirit is very willing, but my body is weak. If only my mind could command things to do my very wishes, my life would have been more organized physically and emotionally. I just hope that I would survive this 'ordeal' with learned lessons to keep me in place forever.
I now dread the post-partum stage.
posted by Dyes at Thursday, April 06, 2006
3 Comments:
i think your being in a so-called "rut" is actually your body's natural reaction to your pregnancy. the tendency is to slow down so as to relieve or avoid any unnecessary stress. kaya don't be too hard on yourself, you will have time to do everything and anything you want. but at the moment, you just need to focus on one thing: your baby. it's probably the most exciting thing that could ever happen to you or any woman's life, so enjoy it while you can. :)
i think your being in a so-called "rut" is actually your body's natural reaction to your pregnancy. the tendency is to slow down so as to relieve or avoid any unnecessary stress. kaya don't be too hard on yourself, you will have time to do everything and anything you want. but at the moment, you just need to focus on one thing: your baby. it's probably the most exciting thing that could ever happen to you or any woman's life, so enjoy it while you can. :)
hmm, that was a very informative comment, mrspartygirl. :)
i may not know exactly about pregnancy blues, but i hope and pray for your healthy mind, body and spirit...of course, that goes to your linggit, too!
cheer up :D
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